Although I had written an article I planned to send today, a few days ago something happened that “incited” me to write something different that I hope will bless you and “incite” you to follow suit.

Last week I wrote about “Seeing the Similarities” between ourselves and people who might otherwise be “different” from us. I think that often when we focus on differences, we have a tendency to see those differences, (related to social or financial status, age, gender, abilities, training, or something else), as inferior to us, which gets us “stuck” in our current perceptions and opportunities. Focusing on similarities, or learning to appreciate differences, helps us to grow personally and interpersonally.

On Thursday, as my husband Steve and I were leaving a class that we had just finished teaching, we were approached by a young man. He introduced himself as “Peter,”, asked how many more weeks we would be teaching, told us we were “doing a great job,” followed us out the door, and asked if he could pray for us. Right there on the sidewalk, he placed a hand on each of us, and prayed the most beautiful prayer for protection, direction, and wisdom. When he finished, he asked us to pray for him, too. Steve prayed, and then Peter asked me to pray for him, too.

The world would say that Peter has a “cognitive disability” and a “physical disability.” He has likely spent most of his life in special education, and is currently working in a sheltered workshop with other people with “significant disabilities.” Yet he gave us the most thoughtful, generous gift of his time, attention, and desire to offer up a sacrifice of praise to the Lord.

I have never had a person “without disabilities” offer me this gift. In pondering that this weekend, I’ve wondered how I can follow Peter’s example and be quicker to offer similar gifts to people, not because they’re family or friends, not because I’ve been assigned to work with them, not because they’ve done something to deserve it, but because I’ve been “incited” to reach out to bless others.

How about you? Peter offered us what he could. It made me think of the Biblical Peter, who said to the lame man in Acts 3:6, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you…”

Pass it on…may we all follow Peter’s example this week, responding to his “incite” to reach out and bless others. And in turn, may you be richly blessed!

I first became interested in autism when I was in eighth grade and researched the topic for a writing assignment. My interest grew through college and my early years teaching first grade and working with students with a wide variety of academic, social, and emotional strengths and challenges. From 1998 through 2012 I led The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding, a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving social understanding between people with and without autism.

Over the years, I’ve become convinced that there are more similarities than differences between people with autism (or any type of “difference,” including physical, emotional, mental, financial, etc.) and those without. At our core, all people are unique individuals with hopes, dreams, abilities, fears, beliefs, interests, experiences, feelings, and trials. Interacting effectively with each other presents challenges for all of us.

When I started Social Incites, LLC in 2012, I wanted to emphasize that everyone, myself included, needs “social coaching”…not just those with autism or other disabilities. It’s tempting to think that the reason a social interaction breaks down is because of the other person, especially when that person has a social cognitive deficit like autism. But the reality is that sometimes it’s our own inflexibility, preconceived ideas, desires, distractedness, judgmental attitude, insecurity, or pride that gets in the way of the interaction “working.” We all need other people in our lives to correct and assist us (peer-coaching), just as we need to be coaching ourselves (self-coaching) to be friendly, kind, flexible, considerate, humble, honest, generous, patient, etc.

I hope that as you read my insights each week, you’ll be incited (prompted) to do something different, something more, perhaps something radical which will help you grow personally, but also interpersonally as you connect with others. And whether you’re interacting with people you perceive as “like you” or “different from you,” I hope you will be an encouragement to them as you model and promote love, acceptance, and socially effective interactions.

I have been so blessed through the last week by the outpouring of emails from readers after last week’s Social Incites™ article, “Just Like Daddy!” Thank you to everyone who took time to write…I pray that I will be able to encourage and bless all of you as you have done for me this week.

With her permission, I am sharing a thought-provoking quote from one reader, Doreen:

I promised her that I would be wrestling with these questions and praying for wisdom and insight along with her. I’d love to hear from all of you! How would you answer these questions? What would God have us learn as we struggle with this dilemma together?  

I hope you’ll take time this week to ponder these questions, pray about them, talk with others about them, search the Scriptures, observe social interactions around you (effective and ineffective), and then take time to share your insights and observations with me. If we have just a couple, I’ll print them in next week’s article. If we have too many for that, I’ll create a place for them on our web site. More than that? Wouldn’t that be exciting! I guess we’ll see what God wants us to do with those…

Wishing you a week of insights that incite you to go deeper and to get more connected with others!

My three-year-old son is in a fun stage where he wants to do everything, “Just like Daddy!” I took this photo last week when they went running together. Noah carefully selected “running clothes” that resembled what my husband was wearing, and proceeded to take his shoes to Daddy’s chair so that he could put them on the same way his daddy does (even though he could barely reach). He tries to ride bike, floss his teeth, read books, eat, use tools, and tell stories “just like Daddy!”

Fortunately, I’m not missing out on the opportunity to be a positive influence on our son. Noah started preschool last week. As I was praising him for sharing with the other students, listening quietly during story time, following the rules, and respecting his teacher, I asked, “How did you get to be so smart?” He responded, “I got it from you, Mom!”

My husband and I delight in each of the little evidences that Noah is watching us. The reality is that all of us are often role models for people around us. Our own children, or students, or neighbors, or even people we pass casually on the streets, are watching us. Do we model acceptance, respect, kindness, empathy, trust, compassion, encouragement, joy, and love?

I have been increasingly convinced, especially in the last few weeks, of the need to do things just like my Daddy—my Heavenly Father. I hope and pray that the interactions you have with me, whether through reading this weekly article, following our Facebook page, perusing our web site, reading one of the books we’ve authored, accessing our coaching and consulting services, emailing me privately, or simply passing me on the street, would be God-inspired and Spirit-filled. My gifts come from my Father, and I desire to use them for His glory, and to bless the people He brings into my life each and every day.

I do so very imperfectly. I often interact with others in ways that cause pain or confusion. I regret the times that I may have gotten in the way of others seeing Christ because of my busyness, my ego, or my devotion to my own plan. Know that I don’t expect perfection from you, nor does our Heavenly Father. We are all imperfect vessels, but when filled with His glory, we can accomplish amazing things for Him!

If you don’t have that assurance, that purpose, that joy, my deepest desire is that you would find that yet today. Why wait another day to experience the love of the Father, and the confidence that you, too, can be “just like your Daddy?” I welcome the opportunity to talk with you and to pray with you. Otherwise I hope you’ll find someone in your community who loves the Lord and who desires to share that love with you.

Imagine the difference we can make in our homes, schools, workplaces, communities…and ultimately around the world…when each of us is trying to be “Just like Daddy!”

Today in the United States we celebrated “Labor Day.” Many businesses and government entities were closed and workers had the day off. Other employees worked to keep restaurants, hospitals, and retail establishments open. Whether you worked or enjoyed a day off today, I hope you were able to celebrate the opportunity to work, whether at home, at school, in a paid or volunteer workplace, and other locations in the community!

As my husband and I work with young adults to prepare them for employment, we note a significant difference between those who were raised with a strong work ethic, and those who would rather not break a sweat, preferably on the couch with a video game, TV, or access to the Internet. We’re hearing from many employers, “Young people today just don’t want to work!”

There are many things that can help instill a strong work ethic in children and young people. Modeling the need and benefits to working hard, providing incentives and rewards, providing clear expectations and negative consequences for not meeting them, working without financial reward (at home or in the community) but talking about the other benefits (connections to others, feeling good about contributing, gaining experience and work references, etc.) are all ways to teach the value of hard work.

I had hoped to end this Social Incites™ article with a quote that summed up the importance of a good work ethic. However, I found so many good quotes that I was unable to choose just one. Instead, if you follow this link, you’ll read several good quotes from successful people who have learned the value of work.

Best wishes as you head back to whatever work awaits you this week…may it provide for your daily needs, help you grow, give opportunities to connect in meaningful ways with others, and provide satisfaction in knowing that you are contributing to others.