The holidays are a great time to focus on “gifts.” But while we’re busy planning (“making a list and checking it twice”), wrapping, and preparing to give (“gonna find out who’s naughty or nice?”), I hope we’ll remember that some of the best things can’t be purchased online or at the store, can’t be wrapped, and can’t be handed to someone. Instead, they need to be modeled, taught, encouraged, and instilled. This series of “incites” is my gift to you this holiday season. In this series, you may discover gifts you already have (be thankful!), gifts you have given to others (celebrate that!), or gifts you and your loved ones need to add to your list (put it at the top, maybe as a New Year’s resolution, although if you need it, why not start today rather than waiting for the new year?)

On Thursday, those of us living in the United States will pause to commemorate the Thanksgiving holiday. For many, this is a joyous, thankful occasion. For others, it is painful or lonely. Which describes you during this season of your life?

For years, I have been teaching students that there is a very strong correlation between our thoughts, feelings, and responses. When we think negative thoughts, we tend to begin to feel more negative (angry, sad, hopeless), which in turn produces negative (harmful, unproductive) responses (words or actions). Often we cannot change our circumstances, but changing the way we think about them can make all the difference!  Using “self-coaching” to think positive (hopeful, encouraging) thoughts can make us feel more positive (happy, confident, optimistic), leading to more positive (productive, safe) responses.

I recently completed the Bible Study, “The Armor of God,” by Priscilla Shirer. In it, she mentions Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist, and her study of neuroplasticity. Dr. Leaf is able to demonstrate through brain imaging studies that there is science to prove what I have intuitively known and taught. Dr. Leaf’s research is both fascinating and convincing…our toxic thoughts poison not only our minds (and emotional well-being), but also our bodies (and physical well-being). I highly encourage you to find out more at http://drleaf.com/about/toxic-thoughts/.

Obviously, our Creator God knew this from before the beginning of time. He has given us instructions for healthy living:

-       Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2 NLT)

-       And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (Philippians 4:8 NLT)

An excellent place to start is with expressing gratitude. Are you feeling excited, happy, relaxed, or hopeful? Or are you feeling tired, frustrated, angry, depressed, or lonely? Remember, it isn’t about our circumstances, it’s about our thoughts about our circumstances. Start giving thanks for the things you have, the people who are in your life, the blessings you have received. Read Psalms of thanksgiving (good ones to start with are Psalms 95-101, 145-150). And resist the lies of the enemy that you are unworthy, unloved, unlovable, or overlooked.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving week? Regardless of your circumstances, you can CHOOSE to be full of gratitude, overflowing with thanks! Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. (I Thessalonians 5:18)

The holidays are a great time to focus on “gifts.” But while we’re busy planning (“making a list and checking it twice”), wrapping, and preparing to give (“gonna find out who’s naughty or nice?”), I hope we’ll remember that some of the best things can’t be purchased online or at the store, can’t be wrapped, and can’t be handed to someone. Instead, they need to be modeled, taught, encouraged, and instilled. This series of “incites” is my gift to you this holiday season. In this series, you may discover gifts you already have (be thankful!), gifts you have given to others (celebrate that!), or gifts you and your loved ones need to add to your list (put it at the top, maybe as a New Year’s resolution, although if you need it, why not start today rather than waiting for the new year?)

One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and others is the gift of a solid work ethic. One definition of work ethic is “a belief in the moral benefit and importance of work and its inherent ability to strengthen character.” (Dictionary.com) The word “moral” has to do with truth, and knowing (and demonstrating that we know) the difference between right and wrong. So, according to this definition, work ethic understands that working can shape our values and who we are as people.

This definition, to me, seems to miss some of the depth and impact of a solid work ethic. If you are familiar with my “Tree Analogy,” I believe a solid work ethic is a key component of each of the four areas of a healthy, well-balanced life: nourishing, growing, connecting, and contributing.

In my work as an employment coach,  I see evidences of a solid work ethic every day…and this makes the lack of a work ethic, which we also see frequently, that much more noticeable and lamentable.

Perhaps the best way to define a solid work ethic is to explain what it looks like; how it plays out in everyday life. Here are a few of the examples we have noted. A solid work ethic enables people to:

-       Be motivated to do a task, whether or not they like it, for financial rewards, for social rewards, or simply for the intrinsic reward of knowing they are helping others as they contribute their time and talents;

-       Be joyful, working with a smile on their face, even when the work is difficult, boring, uncomfortable, or otherwise unpleasant;

-       Be grateful for the opportunity to set aside “meaningless” activities in favor of doing something “meaningful;”

-       Be flexible, willing to try new things, to adjust their expectations, schedule, and preferences according to the work that needs to be done;

-       Be increasingly independent as they gain skills, connections, confidence, maturity, and opportunities;

-       Be rewarded by others’ acknowledgements, friendships, new opportunities, a paycheck, work references, promotions, bonuses, etc.;

-       Be satisfied, knowing their contributions are needed, appreciated, and useful for themselves and others.

When asked if he had any household chores, or if he was volunteering in the community, one of our former students simply said, “No.” When asked why not, this 22-year-old able-bodied young man, who still lived at home, replied, “Because I don’t feel like it and nobody makes me!”

Another one of our students, a 19-year-old who happens to have a significant physical impairment which makes physical labor challenging, was volunteering alongside us recently at a local nonprofit. He was clearly tired and sore, but I asked him what he liked best about the work. His response was, “That I’m doing something meaningful…not sitting at home wasting my time.”

It has been our experience that students who have a solid work ethic, regardless of their unique strengths and challenges, have an easier time getting and keeping a job, and stepping toward independent living. Many of them also juggle a job with college classes. Their parents have taught them the value and importance of work, and given them opportunities to work regularly, contributing to their household and community. They know they need to work to earn something, because they haven’t just had everything handed to them. They know they may need to work without pay, as the value of that experience cannot be purchased with money. They know they can work to achieve other milestones, because they see their work (and their willingness to work) contributing to their success.

Parents, grandparents, and teachers, are you modeling, teaching, and expecting a solid work ethic from your children and students? I recently read a thought-provoking quote from Schott Shute, successful Vice President of Global Customer Operations at LinkedIn. As he reflected on the values he learned from his dad, Ed Shute, he wrote, “He loved us kids, and part of that love was putting us to work. ‘It’s child abuse not to teach your kids to work,’ he said.”

We’ve got work to do!

*Acknowledgement: You probably recognized a paraphrase of “Santa Claus is coming to town,” by John Frederick Coots and Haven Gillespie. It’s been around awhile, having been first sung on Eddie Cantor's radio show in November 1934.

Recently, my four-year-old was looking at the back of a box of cereal, and began naming the characters pictured there, “Hulk, Captain America, Thor…” I was shocked that he knew those, since I had never exposed him to them (I didn’t even know all of them). Little people are like sponges, soaking up things we intentionally teach them, along with things we aren’t aware that they’re learning!
 
Noah proceeded to say, “God is bigger than Hulk! He’s bigger than Captain America! He’s bigger than any of those!” Now that is something I have been teaching him, but not specifically related to those “superheroes.” Then Noah  said, “God is bigger than my dad!”
 
I am incredibly thankful that God is bigger…bigger than me, Noah's dad, or another person or superhero, bigger than our problems, bigger than our fears, frustrations, sorrows, and even bigger than our plans, hopes, and dreams!
 
Do you know this BIG God? Like Noah, can you say that God is bigger than the (positive or negative) people and circumstances in your life? How does that translate into practical thoughts and actions? For me, it means surrendering my children to the Lord, knowing it is HE who keeps them safe, not me. It means surrendering my business and personal needs to Him, knowing it is HE who pays the bills, not me. It means surrendering my time, choices, relationships, health, and circumstances to God, knowing that since HE is Lord of all, He will continue to work all things together for my good and for His glory, even if I cannot understand it at the time.
 
And what about me? I believe God intends for each of his people to be a sort of “superhero,” displaying peace, joy, power, love, patience, and wisdom that do not make sense in human terms; they exist not because of our effort, training, genetics, personality, upbringing, or connections in the community, but solely because He has called us and equipped us through the power of His Holy Spirit. Now that’s BIG!
 
Wishing you a BIGGER week than you ever thought possible, as you consider surrendering everything to our BIG God!