Soon after I became a first grade teacher, I had a parent of a student say to me, “You’ll never really get it until you become a mom!” Frankly, I was offended. I had just completed a college degree, and had invested significant amounts of time and money to gain relevant knowledge as I began my new career.

Now, more than 20 years later, I think I understand her comment. There’s nothing wrong with amassing knowledge about a particular subject or field. In fact, that knowledge is very valuable, and can keep us “current” as we keep up with changes in research and practice, and can contribute to an effective career.

However, as a coach, I not only have knowledge at this point in my life, but I have also gained a wide variety of experience. I don’t just “talk the talk,” but like you, I am “walking the walk!”

I have friends with various mental illnesses, and family members with Asperger Syndrome, ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), sensory dysfunction, and learning disabilities. I have experienced abuse, and spent a few years as a single mom. My four children range in age from two to eighteen, encompassing the joys and challenges of toddlerhood, tweens, teens, and emerging adults. Each day, I change diapers, help with homework, prepare meals, wait anxiously for teen drivers to return home, monitor sibling rivalries, tend wounded bodies and souls, and discuss college and work opportunities with my family. My husband and I have grown together through our parenting, differing personalities and priorities, various job changes, and sharing of work, hobbies, and other pastimes.

My writing and coaching not only share knowledge, but consist of the experiences I’ve had, the struggles I’ve faced, the lessons I’ve learned, the strategies I’ve developed for my own success and that of my loved ones, and the passion I’ve developed for helping everyone to experience success. My “incites” are a testament to the value of hard work, helpful connections, relevant resources, patience, perseverance, love, laughter, flexibility, and strong faith.

Thank you for allowing me into your life! I hope that for a few moments each week, I can walk alongside you as you “walk your walk,” whether you are a parent, sibling, grandparent, student, teacher, administrator, employee, employer, with a diagnosis or without, and whether you are “young” or “old” or somewhere in-between. While I cannot fully identify with your individual situation (or CONTEXT), I hope that my personal journey has equipped me to provide the information, encouragement, support, and strategies you need to take the “next step,” whatever that may be, as you continue to grow personally and interpersonally!

We recently embarked on the journey of a new year—2013. This year marks a different point in life for each of us. For some, this year may be marked by a significant milestone such as a birth, the start of a new school, a graduation, a marriage, retirement, or a new job. For others it may seem like just another in a lineup of years that pass somewhat routinely from one to another.

As humans, we tend to mark our lives through milestones, or destinations. When we take a trip, we’re eager to get to our final destination. When we’re anticipating one of the milestones in the first paragraph, we can get frustrated by the situations (and sometimes even people) that get in the way, or the small things that need to be accomplished while we’re looking forward to a significant event.

I have been trying to view the journey differently in recent years, seeing life not as a series of distant goals, but daily evaluating what I can learn, enjoy, and appreciate about the here and now; about each step of the journey. I like the quote, “The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.”

Yes, there can be joy in the journey, in the people we meet, the decisions we face, the unexpected circumstances that threaten to derail our carefully laid plans, or the surprise opportunities to notice and appreciate the little things each and every day.

Best wishes as you journey through 2013—may you find happiness in making the most of everything that comes your way!

I once read an article which suggested that of all the positive character traits we may possess, courage is the most important, although it is sometimes also the most difficult. I think the author was right!

It takes courage to be honest, when the "easy" thing to do is to tell a lie, or not to say anything. It's courageous to befriend someone who is ostracized by others, and to stand up for a person when he or she is being bullied. Courage is needed when dealing with fear or uncertainty, and when making difficult choices that uphold our values and beliefs, but may not lead to great popularity with others.

I'm fortunate to have many people in my life who exhibit great courage. I know parents who are courageous enough to set limits for their children, and to ensure that they learn the connection between their choices and the consequences that accompany them. I know teachers who are courageous enough to teach their lessons in novel ways when they see that their students would benefit from that. I know business people who are courageous in running their business with integrity, even when it doesn't always mean that they'll come out ahead financially. I know individuals, with and without autism spectrum disorders (ASD), who courageously venture out of their comfort zones, sometimes several times each day, in order to make connections with other people, to learn new things, and to utilize their abilities in meaningful ways.

It's interesting to look at various dictionary definitions of the word "courage." Although some define it as the absence of fear, personally I prefer this definition from the American Heritage Dictionary: "The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery." Possessing courage does not mean that we will not have fear; rather, it means that we attempt to stay strong and resolute in spite of fear.

Are we teaching our children and students the meaning and value of courage? We can affirm others' courage by pointing out when they are exhibiting courage, and by showing the connection between their courageous choices and the positive outcomes that they're likely experiencing.

I'll close with this quote attributed to Keshavan Nair: "With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity."

I wish for all of us the strength to be courageous, and grace to affirm the courage we see in others!

By the way, Try and Stick with It is a delightful picture book by Cheri Meiners, which helps to teach the value of flexibility and perseverance, even when things are difficult, or don't turn out the way we'd like them to. That sounds like courage to me! 

Welcome to 2013! This is the time of year when we spend time looking back at the year that’s just passed, and ahead toward the year that’s just beginning. Most people can likely identify both positives and negatives from 2012, and most of us can anticipate some of both in the year ahead.

Toward the end of 2012, our world was rocked by the devastating attack on an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut, where 27 people tragically lost their lives. It was horrifying to watch the story unfold on television, and impossible to fully imagine what people there have been experiencing and feeling. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the entire community, and especially those who lost loved ones.

Anytime something like this happens—and there have been many similar, although different situations around the world through the years—our human minds go immediately to the question, “WHY?” We dig for clues, examining a person’s upbringing, friends, employment history, mental stability, the presence of diagnoses (physical, emotional, mental), financial circumstances, exposure to bullying (both past and present), access to violent video games and movies and weapons, and more.

Examining every aspect of a person’s life can possibly help us learn more about how to prevent such tragedies in the future. It can help us try to understand the reasons behind a person’s violent, destructive decisions, as if this would help rationalize it or bring some peace.

Yet there is a danger in trying to make sense of such senseless acts. Regarding the attack in Newtown, I have heard and read news pointing to the assailant’s dysfunctional home life, diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome, possible imminent hospitalization for mental illness, training and access to firearms, and use of violent video games.

The reality is that there is no way to make sense of such a senseless act. Most people raised in dysfunctional homes, diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (or any other diagnosis), struggling with mental illness, using or owning firearms, or playing violent video games, do not go into elementary schools and gun down defenseless children and staff members.

Although we can’t make sense of the choices this person made that day in December, we can do all that we can to make the world a better place by advocating for those who need additional services to help them fit into society or manage personal struggles (whether mental/emotional, physical, financial, etc.), giving people meaningful activities to engage their time and talents and form valuable connections within the community, providing support to parents, grandparents, and school staff who are helping individuals to reach their full potential, and disseminating accurate information about diagnoses such as Autism/ Asperger Syndrome, ADHD, Bi-Polar, Anxiety, Depression, and more. (That’s what Social Incites, LLC is here for! Find out more on this site!)

Best wishes to each of you in the New Year, as you continue to grow personally and interpersonally!