“People ask us how we can do what we do. We can’t imagine not doing what we do.”

My first exposure to autism came when I was about fourteen years old, and chose the topic for a term paper that was assigned in class. I remember being fascinated by a diagnosis that isolated people from others, leaving an individual unable to talk, interact, or show interest in others.

Of course, our understanding of autism has changed significantly over the past few decades. We now know that it is a “spectrum disorder” affecting about one in every 88 children in the U.S., although autism is diagnosed in people of all ages all around the world. People with autism are unique individuals, each with their own abilities, interests, dreams, fears, experiences, emotions, etc. Yet each typically displays differences or delays in language and communication, social interactions, and behaviors. Often they also have difficulties with sensory processing.

I have had the privilege of knowing countless people with autism. I am humbled by their genuine friendship and willingness to accept me as I am. I am inspired by their ability to notice the little details around them. And I am jealous of their ability to memorize facts and statistics. I am determined to make the world a more friendly place for them; a place where their abilities are recognized and used in meaningful ways, and where their challenges are accommodated or addressed with beneficial strategies. And in our recent survey, 88% of you indicated that you are also interested in autism spectrum disorders!

Like most diagnoses, autism creates difficulties for people with that diagnosis, and for the people who work to interact successfully with them. Only those who have walked in their shoes can truly understand the pain, frustration, fear, and practical dilemmas that arise alongside the symptoms associated with this diagnosis.

That’s why I can’t imagine not helping people with autism… and those affected by autism as parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers, classmates, administrators, therapists, co-workers, employers, and friends. I am passionate about utilizing my love for people with autism, my understanding of the diagnosis, my experience with developing useful strategies, and my personal and professional knowledge of the strengths and challenges associated with the presence of autism, in order to help people succeed!

“People ask us how we can do what we do. We can’t imagine not doing what we do.”
 
In 2006 I began writing “The SUN News,” a weekly email article which quickly gained a readership of thousands around the globe.
As the Executive Director of The Gray Center, a nonprofit organization which benefited people with autism spectrum disorders (ASD), I was passionate about helping people to value and have the necessary skills to interact successfully with individuals with ASD.
 
Over the years, I have become increasingly convinced that the skills necessary to succeed with people with ASD (or as people diagnosed with ASD) are the same skills necessary to succeed with anyone. We are all social beings, with individual strengths and challenges that co-exist alongside the need to interact effectively with others in order to achieve our goals.
 
I eventually changed the name of my email article to Social
Incites™, “providing insights which incite personal and interpersonal
growth.” When I started my own business one
year ago, I decided to use the same name to describe my coaching and consulting services. Apparently, I am not alone in my interest in fostering social successl. On our recent survey, 91% of the respondents indicated that they are also interested in social interactions.   
 
I believe that most success in life depends on our ability to use social skills (or “people skills” or “interpersonal skills”) to interact effectively with others. It would be impossible to list all of them here, but these skills include flexibility, compassion, communication, listening, motivation, compromise, understanding, respect, kindness, patience, humility, honesty, gentleness, forgiveness, and the ability to make others feel safe and comfortable around us.
 
I believe that everyone should have the opportunity to experience social success…along with other successes that result from that. Sometimes people struggle “socially” because of personal challenges (related to a diagnosis, abuse, lack of education and support, etc.), or because of challenges in their relationships with others. I am passionate about using whatever skills and connections I have to help them move forward, to grow personally and interpersonally, so that successes big and small can be attainable for them.
 
Over the years, I have met people who describe themselves as “The Queen of Social,” or a “Social Guru.” I am neither. I struggle socially at times, either because I lack the skills necessary for a particular interaction, because I choose not to use them, or because the person with whom I am interacting is lacking or not using the necessary skills for our interaction to be successful. Yet I am thankful for the people who have graciously worked to interact with me in spite of my shortcomings, and I am passionate about sharing that same gift with others.
 
What is it that I can’t imagine not doing? I can’t imagine not working with people, using and honing whatever social skills I possess to interact successfully with them, and to help them interact successfully with others, celebrating successes—theirs and mine—along the way! What is it you can't imagine not doing? Feel free to share your thoughts on Facebook or below, or email us!
And whatever it is, keep doing it, as I’m sure you and possibly many other people are benefiting from it!

This past fall my family and I spent time “up north” in Charlevoix, Michigan, a beautiful lakeside community perched on the shores of Lake Michigan. One day we ventured to Ellsworth, a small neighboring town, for lunch. We discovered “The Front Porch,” a restaurant run almost entirely by volunteers who organized after the last restaurant in town closed in 2008. We were pleased to find that their reputation for delicious food, affordable prices, and warm hospitality was well-deserved, and The Front Porch has been added to our list of favorite restaurants.

While dining at The Front Porch, I noted that my napkin was wrapped in a strip of paper on which was printed the following quote:

            “People ask us how we can do what we do. We can’t imagine not doing what we do.”

I’ve been pondering that quote ever since. What is it that I can’t imagine not doing, and why?

Last week I asked you to take a minute to complete a short survey to tell me about your interests. I am thankful that so many of you responded, giving me a small glimpse into the reasons you do what you do. I hope you’ll continue dialoguing with me as we grow together and in the work that we’re all doing around the world.

For the next few weeks, I’ll share more information about my work, my passions, and my inspiration as I explore why it is that I can’t imagine not doing what I do. I hope it will encourage you to do the same. What do you do? What is it that you can’t imagine NOT doing, even if people wonder how (or why) you do it? Hopefully it’ll be a great way to start the new year, helping us to recommit or redirect our energy to the things that matter most!

As we start 2014, I am celebrating the beginning of the second year of Social Incites, LLC, and the eighth year that I have been writing a weekly email article.
 
I am incredibly honored to be connected with you, and want to ensure that I am providing the information and support that most benefits you.

To help me do that, I’m hoping you’ll take about 30 seconds to complete a 3-question survey. Your responses will remain anonymous unless you choose to include your email address to enter a drawing for a free resource. If you have additional comments or questions, you are welcome to email me.

Thank you, and Happy New Year!