​Years ago, I wanted to write a book entitled, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned from an Aspie,” in the spirit of a similar book entitled, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.” I never wrote the intended book, but have spent the intervening years considering the important lessons that can be learned from living, working, studying, and playing with individuals with autism and Asperger Syndrome. Perhaps you can relate to what I have gleaned:

• Life is too short to miss the interesting little details! People with autism tend to notice the little things in life. Sometimes it’s because their senses are more in tune with their surroundings. Other times it’s because the rest of us are too busy looking at the big picture, or “forest,” to see individual “trees.” Spending time with a person with autism can raise our awareness of things, people, places, and situations that we might otherwise miss, and enrich our lives in the process!
• Life is a lot less complicated when “what you see is what you get!” People with autism tend to be very authentic, loyal, and honest. They interpret things literally, and say what they think. They don’t pretend to be someone they’re not, and they’re prepared to accept the rest of us for who we are. The rest of us complicate life, sometimes needlessly, by speaking metaphorically, putting on social airs, using complicated facial expressions and body language, following intricate unspoken social rules, and expecting everyone else to act just like us!
• Variety really is the spice of life.  We typically say that we value diversity, and want everyone to be an individual. But the reality is that our schools, workplaces, playgrounds, and often even our homes are set up to accommodate mostly those who “fit” into a certain mindset and pattern of behavior. Although people with autism are generally singled out by peers, teachers, employers, and even family members as being “different,” often in a negative way, their unique personalities, preferences, and points of view are truly a gift that we can benefit from when we find ways to celebrate, include, and learn from them!
• Sometimes we’re not as smart as we think we are! Unexpected behaviors from people with autism often keep us guessing about their needs, desires, feelings, or intent. But because we make guesses based on our own experiences, needs, or preferences, we often get it wrong! Taking time to get to know the person increases our likelihood of getting it right, increasing success for them and for us!
• “Social” is complicated! A social interaction takes two or more people. Every person on this planet is a unique individual, with changing perspectives, needs, desires, feelings, etc. Every interaction is also unique, which means that we cannot prepare for everything, nor will we always experience success. But a breakdown in communication, “social foible,” or hurt feelings are rarely the fault of only one person. Instead, we all need to keep trying, learning from our mistakes, apologizing readily, and staying positive in order to keep going!
• Autism is just a label. In our society, labels abound…blonde, smart, lazy, rich, young, teacher, doctor, neighbor, funny, disabled, energetic, successful, etc. Labels are used to describe nationality, birth order, profession, intelligence, physical appearance or ability, financial position, level of education, political leanings, age, and more. Yet no one word could ever begin to describe the complexity of a single person. The word “autism” denotes a subset of behaviors and characteristics that is typical of a certain group of people, but it is just that—a word. These people are human beings, each with unique personalities, dreams, hopes, fears, interests, abilities, experiences, and challenges, just like all the rest of us. We limit ourselves and our opportunities if we attempt to reduce any person to a single label.

 
There is so much to be learned from the boys and girls, men and women, who have been diagnosed with autism or Asperger Syndrome, that this list is simply scratching the surface. In order to learn from each other and to be able to celebrate the unique characteristics which so often enhance our lives in a variety of ways, I’m hoping YOU will share what YOU have learned from people with autism (or what you have learned as a person with autism or Asperger Syndrome). Please email me, and share your stories and insights. I will compile those (either with your name, or anonymously, whichever you prefer), and share them in April when we celebrate Autism Awareness Month.
 
I hope our collective insights will incite all of us to be quicker to appreciate, encourage, learn from, and enjoy ourselves and the people with whom we live, study, work, and play!

Recently, while driving around town, I passed a sign in front of a house that said, “Drive as though YOUR child lives here!” The homeowner obviously is aware that as humans, (aside from the fact that in little things we often are harder on those we love), we have a tendency to protect our own family members with more care and concern than the general public. We likely drive more carefully around our own children than we do around others’ children, mostly because we are that much more aware of our own kids and the need to preserve their well-being.
 
If the safest way to drive is to drive as though YOUR child lives here, don’t you think the same would apply to countless other areas of life?
 
Wouldn’t the world be a better place if each of us did these:

• Dined in a restaurant as though the wait staff, kitchen staff, and maintenance staff was our own family?
• Shopped as though the cashier—and the irritating shopper in line ahead of us-- was our own teen or sibling?
• Studied as though our own mom or dad was the teacher (especially the substitute teacher)?
• Conducted our business as though our own loved ones were the recipients of our services?
• Used a public restroom as though our mom was (or WE were!) going to be cleaning it?
• Gave to homeless shelters and other charities as though we were giving to our best friends or favorite family members (and would they even be homeless if we recognized this as an opportunity to share what we have with those in need)?

 
What might we do differently this week as we consider how we treat others, and how we might treat them more like cherished family members?
 
Here’s a truly better way:
Matthew 25:35 New Living Translation (NLT)For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.

Are you an art aficionado? The dictionary defines “aficionado” as a person who is interested in, knowledgeable about, and appreciative of a particular activity or pursued interest. The root of the word is, “Fond of.”
 
Admittedly, I am not an art aficionado. I do not know a lot about art, nor am I particularly interested in it. I would not say that I am “fond of art.” However, I would say that I am able to appreciate art. I have been to several art museums, including some in other states and countries. And while only the most famous pieces are familiar to me, I enjoy admiring the artwork that demonstrates the artist’s ability to capture the essence of an individual, situation, place, or thought. As my own artistic ability is incredibly limited, I am especially in awe of those creations that seem as real as a photograph, or even as real as life itself. In this sense, what I am admiring isn’t so much the painting, drawing, or sculpture, but the person who created it.
 
Yet as I wander through art exhibits, there are other pieces that I do not admire. I am particularly disturbed by those that I judge to be “nothing special”; those that leave me thinking, “I (in my complete lack of artistic ability) could have done that!” Some appear as though the artist simply splattered several colors of paint over the entire canvas, and then somehow walked away with thousands of dollars for their supposed effort. Others may be simply a series of squares, or simplistic line drawings that barely resemble the subject that is being featured. Some look eerily similar to the artwork my five-year-old brings home from preschool, without the benefit of sentimental attachment.
 
I know that I judge those pieces too harshly, likely because I am not an art aficionado. I do not know the value of such pieces, nor do I know the “back story” of how the artist got to this point. I do not understand the emotions the piece is supposed to evoke, or the commentary it is supposedly making on life in general or a specific person or topic in particular.
 
Which raises a question…as we interact with other people, are we “social aficionados” or “people aficionados?” Are we interested in, knowledgeable about, and appreciative of each family member, student, co-worker, client, supervisor, neighbor, landlord, bus driver, or service provider that we encounter on a daily basis? Are we fond of the people with whom we live, study, work, and play?
 
I assume that most of us view the people around us much the same way I approach art. There are likely some whom we esteem for their abilities, physical attributes, personality, dress, or material possessions, or perhaps for the positive emotions they evoke in us. There are likely others whom we view as “nothing special.” We have decided that there is nothing about them for us to admire or respect, and nothing more we need to know about them to change our opinion. We may not like the emotions evoked when we spend time with these people.
 
Do we then go on to play the role of an “art critic,” proclaiming the attributes of a select few, while noting the deficits of others?
 
My challenge to all of us this week is to become an aficionado of the people around us; to deliberately appreciate and to become knowledgeable about each one. Rather than separating them into two categories (positive and negative), we can ask ourselves, “What is the value of this person? What am I missing if I think this person has no value? What is this person’s “back-story” which has brought him or her to this point? How can I increase my appreciation for this person? How do my thoughts about and responses to this person either build him/her up, or tear him/her down?”
 
The process of becoming “social aficionados” will likely enrich our lives and the lives of those around us!

Here is the ultimate challenge…can we approach each person asking ourselves what that person (complete with strengths and challenges, dreams and fears, looks and personality, haves and have-nots, and whether they make us feel good or not so good) can tell us about the character of the Creator?
 
The Bible tells us that we are each a “masterpiece,” (Ephesians 2:10) created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) Are we looking for that in ourselves? In the people around us? Are we giving thanks to the Creator of each masterpiece (Psalm 139)?
 
If we are tempted to think that a particular individual might be lacking in the attributes of a masterpiece, I encourage us to remember that the Bible tells us that even Jesus had nothing particularly admirable about him, no cause for people to esteem him. (Isaiah 53:3)
 
I suppose, in a sense, we have all been given the responsibility of being art critics. But along with the job title comes a specific job description to guide our daily work:

John 13:34-35 New Living Translation (NLT)
34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

​Prior to the holidays, I sent reminders of several gifts that each of us may have or want. The list included the gifts of a solid work ethic, gratitude, generosity, respect, and identity. 
 
Before moving to other “insights which incite personal and interpersonal growth,” I want to share one more gift: The Gift of Alignment.
 
Millions of people developed “New Year’s Resolutions” in honor of the start of 2016. Countless others did not, perhaps because they don’t feel they have the time to do it, or because they have come to recognize how quickly they step away from those goals after the start of the New Year. Maybe it’s because they have become accustomed to not achieving their goals, and it becomes easier not to try.
 
Admittedly, it has been many years since I intentionally created New Year’s Resolutions. This year was different; however, instead of creating “resolutions,” I have spent time reflecting on the concept of “alignment.”
 
You may be familiar with “alignment” as it relates to a vehicle. Unless the wheels are all aligned properly, the vehicle will not move down the road the way it is supposed to. Chiropractic care focuses on ensuring that the spine and other bones, ligaments, and muscles are all in proper alignment to achieve optimal health and well-being. Orthodontics help achieve maximum alignment of the teeth and jaw so that the mechanics of chewing along with esthetics can be optimized.
 
Toward the end of 2015, I listed my top four life values. I then began examining my life and asking myself which of my activities, purchases, use of time, relationships, etc. enhanced those values, and which were actually taking away from them or distracting me from them. I then began making the necessary specific changes to bring those things in alignment with my core values.
 
The result has been surprising for me. Instead of feeling like I have “one more thing to do,” I am finding that I have less stress and a greater ability to manage life. I have increased enjoyment of those things I value. And I am learning to enjoy letting go of the things that do not support or enhance my most treasured resources. I do not expect that I will ever achieve complete alignment, but I hope and pray that throughout the rest of my life I will continue to listen, learn, and hone my ability to make choices that support whatever I viI
 
Whether or not you made New Year’s Resolutions, I would encourage you to examine your life to ensure that the ways you are spending your time, money, mental energy, and talents—and the relationships you invest in-- are in line with what you profess to value. You may be encouraged to find that you are already enjoying the benefits of having those things aligned. Or you may discover that there are changes—big and small—that you can make to ensure that you are more fully nurturing and enjoying whatever means the most to you.
Blessings as you discover, implement, and enjoy the benefits of the Gift of Alignment!