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Are you well-acquainted with chaos? Most people are, especially now, as our world deals with the coronavirus and accompanying “social distancing” and stay-at-home orders. Active bodies create excitement and commotion and demand attention. Unexpected changes or dilemmas require quick thinking and creative problem-solving skills. Noise and distractions are commonplace. Chaos can be aggravating, or even frightening. But I think it also provides a valuable service!
In the past, I’ve seen a quote, "Chaos pushes us to come to new solutions for old problems." Have you experienced this? Often, it's when we're overwhelmed by activity and frustration, or unexpected changes to our routines, that we vow to try something new to lessen the stress and confusion. Many of us are experiencing this as we figure out how to connect with loved ones, how to do schooling online, and how to get along and share space with family members for longer periods of time than usual. This is when our creativity is pushed to new heights! This is directly related to the old adage, "Necessity is the mother of invention!" A second related quote is this, "Chaos in our lives teaches us how flexible we can be." There's little need for flexibility when schedules are running smoothly, projects are competed in a timely manner, and plans proceed without interruption. Yet this type of "utopia" rarely exists in our lives today, especially when life changes on a daily basis, it is difficult to purchase basic necessities like toilet paper, and many people are out of jobs, wondering how to pay the bills, and having to wear masks when they go out in public. Most parents of young children can testify to the presence of chaos as soon as they make or receive a phone call and attempt (but frequently fail) to hold an intelligent, coherent conversation with another person. Often chaos reigns at those times, as well as first thing in the morning when everyone is trying to get to their daily obligations (work, school, appointments), and at the end of the day, when supper is being prepared, homework needs to be done, and kids and parents are tired and testy. Chaos may be apparent during transitions, when families attempt to go on outings, or during stressful times such as illness, the addition (or loss) of a family member, or the learning of a new skill such as toilet-training or riding a bike. Chaos may also be a factor in the classroom or workplace with a change in schedule (or personnel), a fire drill or other loud noise, a field trip or other outing, or a change in expectations. When chaos appears to be solidly in control of our lives, it's sometimes difficult to remember that we have choices! When I give a presentation on my Social Response Pyramid™, I like to use the quote, "Sometimes we're too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet!" In other words, we can get so busy reacting to chaos in our environment that we forget to determine and address the source of the problem! Perhaps the best way to do this is to take a step back (literally and/or figuratively), and examine the following: 1. What is happening, and why? (What do I know or think, and how do I feel? What do others know, think, or feel?) 2. What is my goal? (Where am I headed? What would I like to achieve?) 3. What strategies do I have to achieve my goal (or what more do I need to know or learn to get there?) 4. Choose a strategy that's most likely to bring success, and give it a try. 5. Go back and assess the outcome--did I achieve what I hoped to achieve? What was the effect on me and on others around me? I may need to restart this process and try a new strategy in order to be successful! This is essentially how the Social Response Pyramid(TM) works. The basic premise of this tool is that through creative brainstorming and a commitment to trying something new or different, a person can move at least one step beyond where he or she is currently "stuck." Here's one more quote about chaos: "Chaos in the world brings uneasiness, but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth” (Tom Barrett). Wishing all of you the opportunity to grow and learn from the chaos in your lives, not only surviving, but thriving!
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April is Autism Awareness Month. It is also child abuse awareness month. Both are important, and there are a variety of resources available to enable us to focus our attention on them, to build empathy, and bring about helpful change.
There are many web sites which compile information about a variety of awareness days each month (click to see one such web site here). In April, at least in the United States, we apparently commemorate siblings, grilled cheese sandwiches, jelly beans, and chocolate truffles, to name a few! I would argue that for almost everyone taking the time to read this, April has truly become AWARENESS MONTH. I’m guessing that like me, you are suddenly more aware of everything—your health, finances, loved ones, work (or lack thereof), housing, schooling, food, stability, coronavirus, social distancing, etc. Anything we might have taken for granted as little as a month ago is suddenly on our radar, either because it has been taken from us, or because we are now spending much more time doing it or thinking about it. It is sobering to realize that in many ways, we are all in the same boat. Yet each of us is experiencing this somewhat differently. My heart goes out to those of you who have experienced significant losses, and those who are on the front lines battling the coronavirus or the many casualties of it (human life, health, employment, financial stability, etc.) Many of you are suddenly homeschooling children, including those with disabilities, sometimes while trying to continue to do your job. There are those who are experiencing job loss, loneliness, illness, or fear. Please know that I am aware of you! I pray for you! We will get through this. We will be changed. But we are in this together. Please reach out if there is anything I can do to help. Blessings, Laurel More than anything this month, I am acutely aware of my need for God! This coronavirus and its significant impact is really BIG, but not bigger than He is. I’m comforted by His presence, and the knowledge that He has a plan and a purpose for a hope and a future for us, and that He promises to work ALL things together for our good. I pray that we will cling to Him, trusting Him as our Lord and Savior, and as the anchor that holds us in the storm. I pray also that we will realize that nothing that’s being taken away from us--or that we have been able to hold onto-- holds any value or meaning if we do not have an assurance of our salvation and the eternal life that awaits us. Do you know the peace, joy, contentment, and confidence that can be experienced even when life rages around us? Please reach out to me today if you are not yet able to say, “It is well with my soul.” Matthew 11:28 New Living Translation (NLT) Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. |
Social IncitesSocial Incites™ are insights which incite (encourage) personal and interpersonal growth. Social Incites™ are written by Laurel Hoekman, Certified Family Life Educator, Certified Employment Training Specialist, Social Coach, Consultant, and Registered Social Service Technician (Michigan). For 15 years, Laurel was the Executive Director of The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding, and has also been a CASA volunteer (Court Appointed Special Advocate for children who are abused and neglected). She is passionate about helping individuals and families (including those affected by autism spectrum disorders) identify and achieve their goals, particularly in building and maintaining effective social connections. Archives
April 2023
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