April is Autism Awareness Month. What is it that we want the world to know about autism spectrum disorders (ASD)?

Many people use Autism Awareness Month to point to startling statistics. The incidence of autism is increasing steadily. It is now commonly believed to be diagnosed in one in every 88-91 American children. That number doesn’t account for the adults being diagnosed, or the countless people who may have autism or Asperger Syndrome, but have not yet been diagnosed (or may have been misdiagnosed).

Statistics are simply numbers. For those of us working to promote social insight and social effectiveness, people with autism are more than a number. Instead, they are unique individuals with their own hopes, dreams, interests, feelings, and abilities. They are children, teens, and adults, students and teachers, parents and grandparents, siblings and friends, employers and employees.

There are phenomenal people around the globe working to make our homes, schools, workplaces, and communities more open and responsive to both the strengths and the challenges of those with ASD. Innovative resources are being developed to help these individuals reach their full potential. Facebook, Twitter, and other means of social networking (in person and via the Internet) are providing opportunities for people to realize that they are not alone, but that there are others around the world who share similar experiences and can provide valuable information and support.

And even while so many people struggle to make sense of the causes, behaviors, needs, resources, and day-to-day trials associated with ASD, people with this diagnosis continue to have a profound impact on our lives through their unique interests, loyal friendship, genuine laughter, creative insights and perspectives, and so much more!

Best wishes as you continue to raise awareness of the many facets of autism, both during Autism Awareness Month, and throughout the year!

Much of the work that my husband and I do through Social Incites, LLC, is focused on helping young people prepare for successful employment. As most of you know, getting and keeping a job can often be much more complicated than simply locating an open position, securing an interview, and receiving a job offer.

Over the years, we have found that it can be beneficial to initially work with families to help them develop strategies at home that are conducive to the nurturing of future employees. When those strategies are in place—and working well—the individual is likely to be much more “employment-ready.” Whether you are looking for employment, know someone who is, or are celebrating your own successful employment, here is a list of the strategies we believe are some keys to success in employment:

1.     Know yourself, and be prepared to market yourself. Be aware of your personal strengths and challenges, and continue developing and utilizing tools for maximizing your abilities, and minimizing (or eliminating) your challenges. Consider things you’ve heard from teachers, friends, family members, and former colleagues. You might benefit from accessing employment-ready tools such as interest surveys, career aptitude tests, resume-writing and interviewing classes, etc. Watch the jobs that people are doing around you as you go about your daily life, and pay attention to “help wanted” notices. As you become more aware of the types of jobs that are available, which ones appeal most to you, and the training/experience necessary to pursue a particular position, you can make decisions about what to study, who to ask to job-shadow, where to gain additional experience, etc. Let people know you’re looking for work, as employment often comes down to “who you know” more than “what you know.” And pay attention to your “packaging,” or how you present yourself to others (including hygiene, dress, mannerisms, manners, voice volume, ability to talk about your attributes, etc.), as those will help others take notice of you—hopefully in positive ways that will lead to successful employment!

2.     Get busy. Once you have a better idea of who you are, what you like, and what you might be good at, get out there and do something about it! Volunteering is a great way to gain experience, skills, connections with other people, opportunities for meaningful contribution of your time and talents, and potential professional work references, and it can help a person adhere to a productive schedule. Experience almost always looks good on a resume, and helps prepare a person for successful employment. Add to the list of things you are doing regularly and independently at home (laundry, cooking meals, budgeting, scheduling own appointments, etc.). Not only will this help keep a person busy, prepare for successful independent living, and contribute to the household, but it is also a great way to prepare for the rigors of employment. Read books and talk to people about the skills necessary for successful employment, and practice them regularly as you volunteer or work at home. Complete lots of applications… very few people get jobs without trying numerous times with a variety of employers. And remember, no one is likely to find a job while playing video games or sleeping all day!

3.     Celebrate even small successes. Securing employment can take a long time, whether or not you have extensive experience or training—or help from a professional job developer. Be sure to encourage yourself over applications completed, interviews secured, connections made with new people, classes finished, certifications attained, etc.  Hold onto hope, keep trying, and keep smiling!

That’s a very simplified list of things a person can do to prepare for successful employment. Do you have other ideas? Feel free to share those with us on Facebook, in the comments secti or connect with us via email!

 

For the last two weeks, we have invited you to share your “testimonies” with us—stories of “tests” you have faced, and what you have learned as a result. We are incredibly touched by your willingness to share your personal trials and heartaches with us, and the resiliency you have shown as you highlight the ways you have grown both personally and interpersonally through these difficult times. Here are those testimonies, shared with permission:

-       Finding out our son has Asperger’s at the age 10… I'm stronger than I thought I was, and as a couple, I am even stronger. With the love and understanding of God, friends and family, I can do anything.

-       The illness of my mother and forgiveness… When people don't feel good and are confused about themselves, they may be really mean and you have to let it go.

-       I have a son with autism… Perfection is not what I thought it was. It is being happy with what you have.

-       Losing my sister in law to cancer Jan. 2013. She was only 41 years old, leaving 2 young children 3 and 7 years old…. There are no guarantees in life, every day is precious. My faithful sister in law graciously accepted that this was all in God's plan for her, she passed with complete peace. She left a legacy of great faith that will endure in everyone who knew her.

-       In the span of two years both my husband and I lost our jobs, lost our house, moved 3 times, relocated cities, our oldest son was officially diagnosed with Asperger's, gave birth to our youngest son, and dealt with the very sudden and unexpected death of my younger sister who also happened to be my best friend… I have learned that life and loved ones are the most precious things in this world. Put your faith in the eternal, not the temporary, because no matter how secure the world around you may seem there is truly no guarantee on even our next breath and life can change in an instant. Give thanks for what you have and take time to learn what is truly important to you. Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Say what you mean, what matters in your heart, and let those around you know how much you love them. You may never get the chance to say it again. (Joanna Francis)

-       Cancer… Life is a gift to be lived fully

-       Having my child "diagnosed" by a school district as emotionally disturbed and knowing that was incorrect and pushing forward until getting a diagnosis from several doctors as Asperger’s… You can't just accept things sometimes you have to go with your gut feelings and continue fighting.

-       Having my mother, father and father in law all pass away within 6 months of each other… I am only one person and as hard as I try, I cannot be everything to all people. I have to accept that I can do what I can to the best of my ability and not feel guilty about not doing more or the “what if's” of the world.

-       I have had 2 significant tests in the last 4 months. My Mom died after fighting cancer for 11 years and my husband of 30+ years attempted suicide… My sister and niece came to live with us 6 months ago. After Mom died, me & my sister would talk and cry about Mom every day - helping each other heal. When my husband attempted suicide, my niece intervened and saved his life. There really is a greater plan for all of us.

It’s true that life’s tests are often unexpected and even unwanted. Yet when we are able to see the gifts that help us deal with them, or that arrive as a result of facing a difficult test, we are able to experience and even celebrate personal and/or interpersonal growth.

Thank you for sharing your testimonies with us! The nine people who took time to share their experiences will all be receiving a free copy of ASD to Z as a token of our appreciation. The next opportunity to win free resources will be during April, which is Autism Awareness Month. Stay tuned for more information!

Last week I wrote about the “tests” that help us grow. Often it’s the difficult things in life, as unwelcome as they may be, that promote the most growth in each of us. However, that can be difficult to see when we’re in the middle of the test.

This past week my community has been impacted by the loss of three significant people; a beautiful, vivacious 15-year-old who has been valiantly battling cancer for over a year, a new grandpa who has been in a coma for several months since a devastating accident, and a star athlete who died in his sleep overnight. One friend of mine has been hospitalized for the last week, and another has been diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer and is facing difficult treatments. I recently met with a new client who experienced a very difficult test in the past year which has led to high anxiety, and a loss of a sense of security and confidence. She is a beautiful young lady, who is obviously still enduring the aftermath of the test with a variety of emotions. I was told that she has been “working her way through it…but still has a long ways to go.”

It’s hard to imagine the magnitude of the loss involved for the individuals or families impacted by each of these tests; loss of normalcy, loss of control, loss of good health, loss of life, loss of dreams for the future, loss of someone or something very dear to them. For all of them, life will never be the same. Each of them has been forever changed.

I’ve been thinking about the particular test of “loss” a lot this past week. I think it’s incorrect to think that anyone should “move beyond” such a loss, or as some people might say, “just deal with it,” or even, “get over it.”

I believe a significant loss (or perhaps any test, big or small), becomes an irrevocable part of our CONTEXT (see The Social Response Pyramid™), or who we are as a person. It doesn’t go away, but it stays with us for the rest of our lives.

Growth comes from what we learn about ourselves and others, how we assimilate that test or loss into the fiber of our beings, and ultimately, how we choose to respond to it. In each of the examples above, I have seen people choose to keep going…choose to give thanks for life, health, doctors, the support of friends and family…choose to keep hoping and believing…even choose to give back to their community in spite of their own significant loss. Each has a beautiful testimony, even though the loss is fresh and the pain is still very raw.

What test are you facing, or have you faced in the past? What are you learning or have you learned as a result of that? We hope you’ll share your “testimony” on our quick survey. (All responses will remain anonymous unless you choose to include your name). You may choose to be entered in our next PRIZE drawing at the same time!

Here’s an additional insight to ponder this week:

“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it's the ability to deal with them.” (Steve Maraboli)

We wish you well as you face a variety of tests in life, knowing they can help you continue to grow personally and interpersonally!

“We want to have a testimony, but we don’t want the test.” I found this quote recently on a slip of paper from a fortune cookie at a local restaurant. I’ve been pondering it ever since.

Although there are a variety of definitions for the word “testimony,” Merriam Webster Dictionary has this one that I like best: proof or evidence that something exists or is true. We typically hear the term applied to people conveying “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” in a court of law, or perhaps sharing stories with spiritual connections pointing to divine intervention in their lives.

But considering the term less formally, I think each of us has our own “testimony,” or possibly many “testimonies.” And returning to the fortune cookie quote, often a life “test” is what leads to a testimony, or the opportunity to learn that something exists or is true.

What “tests” have you encountered? Maybe you have been faced with a diagnosis (your own, or that of a family member). Maybe you have experienced unemployment, missed opportunities, the loss of a loved one, difficult or failed relationships, or financial struggles. Most likely you have not voluntarily chosen those tests, but they have probably caused you to discover that “something exists or is true.” You may have learned something important about your own resilience or abilities—or those of others. You might have discovered truths about the kindness of strangers or other people in your life, or the value of hard work. The tests might have led to changes in the way you spend or save money, relate to people, use your time, or perceive yourself or others.

What’s your testimony? We hope you’ll consider sharing that with us. We’ve created an easy way for you to do that by clicking here to access an online form. If you choose, your response will be considered for our next prize drawing—you may be able to win a free resource!

With autism awareness month (April) approaching quickly, we are also interested in hearing about the tests that autism has presented in your life, and how they have helped you to grow, or what you have learned as a result.

We wish you well as you face a variety of tests in life, knowing they can help you continue to grow personally and interpersonally!