Last week I wrote about the gift I received when my family and I were “snowed in” recently. The nasty winter weather in West Michigan caused cancellations of school and work commitments, and made it difficult to go anywhere. Instead, we enjoyed the gift of nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one who needed us. However, I indicated that “nothing” is intended to be only temporary, not a lasting gift. Misusing that gift can lead to laziness, a lack of motivation and progress, broken relationships, and discontent. Instead, we all need to appreciate and pursue the gift of “something.”

We all need “something,” or many “somethings” in our life. A sense of purpose can come from having activities to do, and people who count on us to do them. This can breed confidence and contentment, along with a sense of accomplishment. Engaging in “something” can spark a healthy, well-balanced life that encompasses the beauty of “The Tree Analogy,” as we actively pursue opportunities for “nourishing, growing, connecting, and contributing.”

Your gift of “something” today may be a job to do, a person to encourage, a lesson to learn, a bill to pay, a nap to take, an apology to make, a doctor’s appointment to attend, a book to read, a meal to eat, a game to play, a conversation to have, an item to purchase, etc. All of these “somethings” indicate the presence in your life of nourishing, growing, connecting, and contributing. All of these are gifts! Dirty dishes mean that you have food to eat. Bills to pay mean that you have good things to use. An apology to make means you have someone in your life worth repairing a damaged relationship.

Is your life characterized more by “nothing” or “something” at this point in time? I encourage you to download my “Tree Analogy” to think about the specific ways you can continue to grow personally and interpersonally. And as always, feel free to share your insights with us below, on Facebook, or through email. We love to hear from you!

Many times over the last several years I’ve found myself thinking, “I would give anything to have a day on which I had nothing to do!” As a busy mom and professional, those days don’t generally come my way very often. If you’re familiar with my “Tree Analogy,” my days are primarily spent “connecting” and “contributing,” with very little opportunity for “nourishing” on a regular basis. The “growing” that happens is generally linked to the various activities on my agenda, and not to intentional, deliberately selected and scheduled growth. Perhaps you can relate!

Last month, my community in West Michigan was hit by unusually blustery winter weather. The sub-zero temperatures, large amounts of snow, and high winds brought us five “snow days” in a row; school closed and we were “snowed in” indoors.

Suddenly all of my activities were cancelled, my kids were home, and together we all enjoyed “the gift of nothing.” In some ways I wish I could say that I used the time to deep-clean closets, prepare tax paperwork, stock the freezer with meals, get caught up on correspondence, write more Social Incites™, etc. However, that would have been “something,” and what I really needed more than anything was “nothing.” I enjoyed every minute of sitting in my pajamas, talking with my kids and my husband, connecting with other friends on Facebook, snuggling with my cat and my three-year-old, looking out at the drifting snow, snacking on occasional new recipes that we tried together (baked broccoli is delicious), and even occasionally napping.

Were we “bored?” In my house, that word is outlawed. There is always “something” that can be done. Boredom is a negative attitude that views “nothing” with disdain, and scoffs at creativity and productivity. Instead, we viewed this “nothingness” as a gift (one day after another). Nothing  needed to be done. There was nowhere we needed to go (and in most cases, nowhere we could go). No one needed us outside of home. It was a beautiful gift, and we enjoyed it immensely!

Of course, “nothing” isn’t intended to be a lasting gift. We enjoyed it for a week, and then it was time to move back to “something,” many things, in fact. But even that is a gift, as I’ll write about next week.

Whether you’re enjoying “nothing” or “something” right now, I hope you’ll view it as a gift, finding ways to enjoy it and to be thankful for it!

            “People ask us how we can do what we do. We can’t imagine not doing what we do.”

In my position as a coach and consultant, I have the wonderful privilege of working with families around the world. The technology of phone, Skype, and email has opened up opportunities to connect with people as far away as India, Japan, Australia, Greece, and the United Kingdom, while also working with families in my West Michigan community and across the United States. I work with children, teens, and adults, parents, grandparents, and siblings.

Why am I passionate about working with families? I believe the years a child spends growing up at home form the basis for most of their success in life. Interactions with family members can teach a person how to love, show compassion, be honest, negotiate fairly, do creative problem-solving, be resilient, develop hope for a bright future, learn to take care of themselves, others, and their surroundings, begin to identify the expectations of others and the motivation and strategies to meet them, and learn to manage their emotions effectively.

Yet I know from personal and professional experience that growing up in families isn’t always a positive process, and is rarely easy. The stressors of everyday living, combined with changing life circumstances, and differing needs and abilities of each family member can make it difficult to live together in harmony, let alone to learn and progress constructively. As a coach, I am passionate about taking the lessons I’ve learned from my own experience and the training I’ve received, to partner with families, providing support, encouragement, and practical strategies for moving forward in successful ways.

What we learn from our families—both positive and negative—often contributes in significant ways to our success as adults, and is frequently repeated in future generations. For this reason, I can’t imagine not helping families to experience success as unique individuals, and as a cohesive unit. In our recent survey, 82% of you indicated that you are parents, and 32% said you are teachers. Many of you also identified yourselves as therapists and doctors. From my experience, most people in those situations in life are also passionate about helping families to succeed. That’s why I’m delighted to partner with all of you in a mission to promote personal and interpersonal growth…and success for families!

“People ask us how we can do what we do. We can’t imagine not doing what we do.”

The Social Incites logo attempts to illustrate the concept of growing personally and interpersonally. Like a tree, I believe there are four elements of healthy, well-balanced human day-to-day living: nourishing, growing, connecting, and contributing.

Work is one way to accomplish all four areas at one time. Whether your “work” is schoolwork, housework, or paid or volunteer work in the community, many of your needs (for information, inspiration, exercise, supportive relationships, income, etc.) are being met while you grow mentally, emotionally, socially, financially, etc. Typically while you’re working, you’re also connecting with other people, and contributing your gifts of time, effort, ability, ideas, friendship, etc. And that means you’re also benefiting other people, helping them to experience nourishing, growing, connecting, and contributing.

My work focuses on helping people to be successful in their work, whether they are students, parents, teachers, administrators, employers, employees, doctors, etc.

While all aspects of work are important and valuable, paid employment is particularly beneficial as it helps to provide the income necessary to access a wide variety of life choices (where I will live, what I will do in my free time—and how I will get there, how I will deal with unexpected emergencies, how I will spend my retirement years, etc.)You may be familiar with the common saying, “Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.” Through job development (helping an individual to become employed) and job coaching (helping an employee learn to identify and meet an employer’s expectations so that he/she can maintain the employment long-term), my husband and I are able to help people achieve a greater level of independence as they step toward and achieve their life goals.

Lastly, we often use our work to define ourselves. When someone asks, “Who are you?” our response is often related to what we do with our time, whether we are parents, professionals, volunteers, students, or are maybe “retired” from our previous occupations. Being successful at our work helps to build self-confidence and a greater awareness of what we have to offer others, or to give back to those around us.

For these reasons, I can’t imagine not helping people to be successful in their work, whatever that may be. How about you? How do you help people to be successful in their work? In our recent survey, one third of you also indicated that you are interested in learning about successful employment.  I hope you’ll share your thoughts on Facebook, as comments below, or email us!