I’ve often said, “The more I know, the more I realize I don’t know.” And that has been true again in the last month. As I have been writing about community in Social Incites™ since the end of August, a whole new community concern has come to my attention. It’s something I had been aware of for decades, but I never knew until recently how close it came to my own home.

I’m talking about the issue of pornography. And since it reared its ugly head, too close for comfort, I have been learning the statistics, both from published research, as well as personal accounts, of just how prevalent it is, and how devastating it is to those impacted by it, whether they stumble on it or deliberately search for it.

Pornography exploits people. It distorts the beauty of who we are created to be and how we are designed to relate to one another. It creates addictions that people cannot step away from, triggering the same areas of the brain as alcohol and drugs. Pornography lies about the source of true beauty. It causes some people to sneak around, lie, and live in shame. It causes others to boast, manipulate, or become aggressive. It destroys relationships, joy, dreams, and livelihoods. It perpetuates and encourages bullying, self-harm, and abuse. It is easily accessible to people of all ages, male and female, and of all cultural and socio-economic backgrounds.

We should all be concerned! We need look no farther than the smartphone in our child’s, spouse’s, parent’s, sibling’s, student’s, co-worker’s, or neighbor’s—or our own hand to wonder how close pornography can lurk. It is no longer a problem that affects only “someone else.” We cannot say with certainty, “Not in my home,” or, “Not in my family,” or, “Not in my workplace,” or, “Not in my classroom,” or even, “Not in my church!”

We need to be informed. We need to be holding each other accountable. We need to have controls in place. But don’t take my word for it…I encourage you to check this web site for information about WRAP (White Ribbon Against Pornography) week, which is taking place right now. Ask questions. Share information. And pray!

I recently asked someone, who is a student at a local Christian college, how many of the young men he has met in the first month of college are struggling or have struggled with pornography. His response was, “Four out of five.” I read one statistic that said 33 percent of clergy have visited a sexually explicit website at some point. (Covenant Eyes). Another statistic indicated that people are typically first exposed to pornography between the ages of 11 and 14.

Yup, it’s that big a problem!

Are you talking about this in your home, school, workplace, and place of worship? Who will you ask this week? Who will you educate this week? What measures will you take in the next few days to protect yourself and your family? How can you wrap around your community in the days and weeks ahead to share truth and bring healing to those whose lives have been impacted by pornography?

If you’re involved in pornography yourself, I hope you’ll realize that there is a better way. Internet and magazine images are not about love, fulfillment, or true intimacy, and will not bring peace, joy, or truth. Talk to someone as the first step toward gaining freedom.

None of us walks this road alone. We are all part of a community, and communities are intended to help each other. Look for local resources, access supports, be there for each other, and if necessary, ditch the smart phones. Sometimes they’re not so smart, after all!

Have you ever paid for an item in a store or a meal in a restaurant, and received a receipt with an opportunity to complete a survey? Maybe it gives you a chance to win a prize, receive a future discount, or return for a free custard or fries.

Typically, I shove the receipts in my purse, mumble, “Sure, thank you!” to the cashier, and forget about it until I’m cleaning out my purse a few weeks later, at which point the receipts are moved to the trash can.

I gained a new perspective on these surveys when talking recently with a friend who works at a restaurant. I learned that customer responses on surveys are tracked closely, and that including a compliment with a specific employee’s name can positively impact that person’s job along with his or her morale. Incentives are given to workers who receive a certain number of specific compliments. Conversely, negative comments can cause them to be disciplined or even lose their jobs. Someone who is “having a bad day,” or is struggling to learn a new job, can have their hard work negated by a customer’s careless comments as they take the phone survey for their free custard or fries.

For my friend’s sake, and for the sake of other workers who are doing their best to please their employer and customers, and to keep their paycheck, I intend to begin completing those surveys, even if they do take a few minutes out of my day. I intend to make note of the names of the people who are trying so hard to make my day, and include a compliment when I do.

Will you join me in “surveying for success,” as one more way to build community around us? While we’re at it, let’s remember to smile and thank them for a job well done, while wishing them a joy-filled day!