What is your identity? Most dictionaries define “identity” as a mixture of who you are, as well as how you are different from others. What makes you “you?” How do you define yourself? What makes you different from others?

There are many things we tend to use to form our identity. We might point to our talents (mechanical, artistic, practical, numerical, emotional, etc.). We might look to our roles in life (parent, spouse, sibling, neighbor, etc.) or our training and experience (teacher, attorney, doctor, secretary, cashier, food service worker, student, retiree, etc.). We may use our personality and character traits (patient, kind, persistent, productive, laid-back, efficient, relaxed, etc.) We might believe that our identity is formed through our current circumstances (employed or unemployed, healthy or sick, welcomed or lonely, fulfilled or empty). We may even form our identity based on what other people think of us (stated or implied, positive or negative).

Although we often perceive ourselves in those ways, the problem with using our talents, roles, personality or character traits, current circumstances, and other people’s impressions is that they are always changing! It’s true that we change every day, in both small and/or significant ways, but who are we, really, if we are always changing?

This week, we celebrate our identity in Christ (Ephesians 2), which never changes  Although we are sinful human beings (Romans 3:23-24), that is not our identity, as even that is changing, and will someday change forever (I Corinthians 15:50-52). If we grasp and celebrate our identity in the One who never changes (Malachi 3:6)., we can look beyond the imperfect circumstances, unkind comments, rollercoaster emotions, overwhelming circumstances, and frequent failures that otherwise threaten to define us. Our identity is sure: we are sons/daughters of the King and Creator of the Universe (2 Corinthians 6:18), Heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17), God’s own masterpiece! (Ephesians 2:8-10)

If your identity is sure, gather around the manger this week with the shepherds and wisemen, giving glory and gratitude to the most precious gift we have ever been given.

If you do not yet have this knowledge of a sure identity, gather around to worship and submit to Him, knowing He welcomes you into the assurance of His love, faithfulness, and forgiveness (2 Peter 1:1-11).

That’s the most wonderful gift this Christmas—the gift of a sure, unchanging, forever identity in Him!

Throughout my lifetime, I have seen many beautiful examples of respect. I have also seen countless examples of disrespect. You might agree with me that our world would be a much better place if every person gave the gift of respect to themselves and to others!

However, as I prepared to write about the gift of respect, I noted that seeking an adequate definition of “respect” can lead to frustration. Dictionaries tend to use words like, “feeling…aspect…quality,” emphasizing a positive yet passive emotion that is typically related to something great that the other person has done. In this sense, we can respect people we have never met for achieving something we have never been able to achieve, or for their ability to perform at our same level.

I suspect that in practice, when we refer to respect, we do not mean an inner feeling, but an outward response. Respect, in practice, is not simply a feeling, it is an action that may or may not reflect our feelings.

For example, we may have negative feelings toward our parents, teachers, employers, doctors, or coaches because of something difficult or unpleasant they have asked us to do, but because we are aware of their status/authority and/or their desire for our good, out of respect for them and for ourselves, we comply.

I suppose this is the paradox; we want people to respect us and others, but we do not want to have to respect those who have not earned our respect.

The best definition I found for mutual respect is located in Ephesians 6:5-9, which reads:

Slaves [children, employees, spouses, neighbors, community members, etc.], obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free. Masters [parents, employers, spouses, landlords, neighbors, law makers, etc.], treat your slaves in the same way. Don’t threaten them; remember, you both have the same Master in heaven, and he has no favorites.

I wonder how many other gifts would accompany this kind of mutual respect, which looks to serving God rather than ourselves, and is not based on a feeling or desire, nor on whether it is deserved nor undeserved? Remember our list from last week? Living lives with this kind of respect can also lead to greater love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. What a gift that would be, for ourselves, for our families, for our communities, and for our world! 

As gift lists are compiled this season, what is on your list? If you’re like me, you may already have all the possessions you really need. However, I’m realizing there are many things I desperately need, that don’t make it on my list often enough. Can you relate with any of these that seem overly depleted at times in my life?

§  Love

§  Joy

§  Peace

§  Patience

§  Kindness

§  Goodness

§  Faithfulness

§  Gentleness

§  Self-control

This time of year, we hear the words, “Joy to the World” and “Peace on Earth,” but do we really crave those things? Do we know where to get them? Often the holidays can greatly tax our reserves of many of these attributes. But we are not without hope! The storehouse of these blessings is always open, and always ready to give abundantly to those who ask.

22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23, New Living Translation)

What’s on your wish list? If you are craving one or more of the above gifts this year, be assured of this:

So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. (Matthew 7:11)

You’ll be glad you asked, as you overflow with His generous blessings!

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. (Ephesians 3:20)

This is the time of year when most people are focused on giving gifts. We shop with lists of gift ideas and people who are special to us. We keep track of sizes, styles, and preferences, and choose items based on the likelihood that each will be pleasing to its recipient.

Most dictionaries stress that generosity is related to giving. Some are specific enough to name “money and other valuable goods,” while others indicate that we can be generous even with our time and talents. Often mentioned is that generosity is, “The quality of being willing to share.”

It may be tempting, especially this time of year, to equate generosity with expensive gifts. We may feel more generous when we are able to associate a quantity (in number of items or amount of money spent) with what we are giving. Or we recognize that we have been the recipients of generous giving when we know that the gift was costly.

I was struck recently by two Biblical accounts of generosity. The first, in Mark 12:41-44, reminds us that our generosity is not measured by the size of the gift, but by how it relates to what we have been given. Basically, it redefines generous giving. The second, in 2 Corinthians 8, teaches that generous giving acknowledges that all that we have comes from God and belongs to Him, and that we are given much in order to give much as we give generously to provide for others who are in need.

This holiday season, I hope you’ll join me in recognizing that being generous does not simply relate to how many gifts will be under the tree and how much money was spent to acquire them. It isn’t about acquiring one more toy or video game, one more television or appliance, or one more pair of blue jeans or underwear (do people still give that?)

Instead, I hope, starting today with “Giving Tuesday,” we will all give generously of what we have been given in order to improve the lives of those in our community who do not have clothes to wear, food to eat, or a roof over their head. There are wonderful organizations that provide for those who are sick, hungry, in prison, abused, neglected, and homeless, and our generous giving will make a significant impact in the lives of those who truly need our encouragement and practical support.

What an incredible gift to give our community and our world, but most importantly, our children, who are learning to be generous givers by watching the choices we make today.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21