The Role of a Lead Coach

If you’ve been reading Social Incites™ for a while, you likely know that I talk about three important types of coaching which we all need to be able to give and to receive. Self-coaching is the ability to coach ourselves to set and achieve goals. Peer coaching uses “peers” (friends, siblings, co-workers, classmates, neighbors, etc.) to help each other set and achieve goals. Lead coaching is when one person is “in charge.” They are the authority figures, or elevated in status somehow. They may be paid to coach, or they may be in charge because they are older, more experienced, have more training, or have a higher level of responsibility. Their role is also to help people set and achieve goals.

The bottom line is generally that we need what the lead coach has to offer. Whether the coach is helping us with athletics, finances, employment, or social success, they are generally there to help us succeed. Often, however, we resent their presence. We prefer to do things on our own, or we don’t like being told what to do or how to do it.

My husband and I moved to a new community several years ago. In anticipation of that move, we enlisted the help of a realtor to sell our home. In six months with that realtor, our house did not sell. As the new school year quickly approached, we were feeling more desperate to sell our house, so we enlisted the help of another realtor. That one conveyed the importance of a “lead coach” very concisely. He said, “If you want to list your home, you can do that without my assistance. If you want to sell your home, you’ll need to do the things I tell you to do.” We promptly followed his suggestions for repainting rooms in the home (neutral colors instead of the colors we had), de-cluttering (including moving furniture and other belongings temporarily into storage), and stopping our practice of hosting open houses. Our home sold within a month, and we were able to move soon after school started.

As a social/employment coach, I often encounter students or clients who say they want my help, but are unwilling to do things differently than the way they’ve always done them. It’s human nature, but often when faced with choosing whether we really want or are ready to accept the help of any “lead coach” we have to consider:

-       Do I want to keep failing classes, or do I want to raise my grade point average?

-       Do I want to keep looking for work, or do I want to be employed?

-       Do I want to keep trying to make friends, or do I want to be a friend?

-       Do I want to keep struggling with difficult behaviors at home, or do I want to have children who are respectful and helpful around the house?

-       Do I want to be a mediocre athlete/student, or do I want to make the most of my potential so that I will have other opportunities down the road?

Admitting that we need help is the first step to benefiting from the assistance of a lead coach. But we also have to trust their training, intuition, experience, etc., and allow ourselves to follow their instructions to hopefully achieve a better outcome than we could have managed on our own. My husband and I decided we didn’t want to list our house, we wanted to sell it. And following the advice of the wise realtor made all the difference.

What “lead coach” could make a difference in your life, if you would let him or her? What assistance can you provide another person as a “lead coach?”

Best wishes as you engage in all three types of coaching this week, but especially as you consider the unique challenges—and benefits—of responding to lead coaching!