The Gift of Respect

Throughout my lifetime, I have seen many beautiful examples of respect. I have also seen countless examples of disrespect. You might agree with me that our world would be a much better place if every person gave the gift of respect to themselves and to others!

However, as I prepared to write about the gift of respect, I noted that seeking an adequate definition of “respect” can lead to frustration. Dictionaries tend to use words like, “feeling…aspect…quality,” emphasizing a positive yet passive emotion that is typically related to something great that the other person has done. In this sense, we can respect people we have never met for achieving something we have never been able to achieve, or for their ability to perform at our same level.

I suspect that in practice, when we refer to respect, we do not mean an inner feeling, but an outward response. Respect, in practice, is not simply a feeling, it is an action that may or may not reflect our feelings.

For example, we may have negative feelings toward our parents, teachers, employers, doctors, or coaches because of something difficult or unpleasant they have asked us to do, but because we are aware of their status/authority and/or their desire for our good, out of respect for them and for ourselves, we comply.

I suppose this is the paradox; we want people to respect us and others, but we do not want to have to respect those who have not earned our respect.

The best definition I found for mutual respect is located in Ephesians 6:5-9, which reads:

Slaves [children, employees, spouses, neighbors, community members, etc.], obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free. Masters [parents, employers, spouses, landlords, neighbors, law makers, etc.], treat your slaves in the same way. Don’t threaten them; remember, you both have the same Master in heaven, and he has no favorites.

I wonder how many other gifts would accompany this kind of mutual respect, which looks to serving God rather than ourselves, and is not based on a feeling or desire, nor on whether it is deserved nor undeserved? Remember our list from last week? Living lives with this kind of respect can also lead to greater love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. What a gift that would be, for ourselves, for our families, for our communities, and for our world!