Nesting and the Role of Emotional Intelligence

There are many components to a successful life (or establishing, maintaining, and moving smoothly from one "nest" to another, as we discussed last week). Whether you’re prone to attribute it to providence, luck, hard work, or "it’s not what you know, but who you know," one significant trait that is necessary for success is "emotional intelligence."

Daniel Goleman, a leader in the study of emotional intelligence, has
developed a list of seven key abilities people need to effectively manage life:

- Motivating oneself
- Persisting against frustration
- Delaying gratification
- Regulating moods
- Holding onto hope
- Empathizing with others
- Controlling impulses

 In reviewing this list, you may note areas of personal strength or
difficulty. You might also notice that many of these are challenges for the individuals with whom you live and work. Because these traits are such important indicators of present and future success, I believe those of us who are "coaches," (parents, teachers, and other advocates) need to ask ourselves the following questions:

 1. Am I a model of success in these areas? If not, what can I do to improve? What strategies can I use to be more successful?

2. Am I teaching others about the importance of these traits, and helping them to achieve success by providing the necessary opportunities, instruction, tools, and encouragement? 

3. Are we (myself and those for whom I am advocating) engaging in activities and interacting with people who will provide increased opportunities to improve in these areas?

 I was interested to see Daniel Goleman’s work cited by author Barbara Coloroso when I reviewed her book, "The Bully, the Bullied,
and the Bystander." Mastery of traits in this list is integral to the eradication of bullying. People who have attained proficiency in
these areas are more likely to treat others well. They also stand a lesser chance of becoming a target of bullying. And bystanders with these characteristics are more likely to intervene on someone else’s behalf. 

I hope this concept "incites" you to review your own life, and consider how you can continue to grow and encourage those around you to grow. Someone’s ability to thrive in or eventually "leave the nest" and successfully establish their own may be greatly enhanced by your efforts!