My Fitbit Calls Me Friend...

Earlier this week, I put on my Fitbit, and across the screen flashed the words, “Hi, Friend…” I smiled, reflecting not only on how good it feels to be called “Friend,” but also on the absurdity of that designation. In the interest of full disclosure, my Fitbit and I are connected only for what it can do for me. It shows me the time, and notifies me of incoming texts and phone calls. It is not successful in motivating me to get moving; my life keeps me busy enough that I walk on the days when I need to walk, and sit when I need to be sitting, and rarely look at the record of how many steps I have logged. I’m thankful my heart keeps beating through all of it, but do not check my heartrate on my handy wrist companion. In return, I regularly charge my Fitbit when it needs it, but I’m afraid that’s as far as our friendship goes.

I work, teach, and interact with dozens of people each week. Each seems very aware of how many “friends” he or she has…or their lack of friends. I met a young lady recently who receives up to three new “friend requests” on Facebook each week. She accepts them, not knowing who they are, simply because it feels so good to have “friends.” Many people are disappointed to start a new school or a new job, only to find that no one seems to want to be their “friend.” Parents often lament to me, “I just want my child to have friends!”

I have worked with several individuals who have found friendship and acceptance only after they have changed their gender identify, finding those groups to be more accepting than the typical high school or post- high social connections. Others turn to “feel-good” or “acceptance-worthy” measures such as over-spending, drinking, drugs, or gangs.

The reality is that there are countless people around us, in our homes, schools, workplaces, and communities, who are intensely lonely. They want to feel accepted, wanted, loved, affirmed, needed, and valuable. They long for someone to say, “Hi, Friend…”

Many years ago, I heard someone say, “Friendship is the mutual sharing of weaknesses.” As a society, I think we are losing our ability to share our weaknesses with each other. Everything, from education, to reality television shows, to social media, is focused on promoting our successes. Yet, even though we promote our successes, and sometimes receive recognition for them, I believe friendship is also the “mutual sharing of successes.” That, too, is challenging, in a society which seeks to “one-up” each other in a never-ending game of, “Can you top this?” Combined with the lack of face-to-face interaction promoted by this digital day and age, are we losing sight of the value of friendships, and how to seek out and sustain them? (You may be interested in this article: https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-importance-of-friendship/).

The advice I typically give people, and try to practice in my own life, is to simply “be a friend” rather than trying to count the number of people who are friendly toward us. Does someone need a smile, a word of encouragement, help with a practical task, a listening ear, a compliment, or a gift to brighten their day or lighten their load? Often, we are drawn to people who make us feel good. If we can focus on making other people feel good, we are likely to draw people to us, providing the type of space and connection from which friendships can blossom.
​
My challenge this week, to myself and to you, is to reach out to one person each day and say, “Hi, Friend!” Whether it’s a family member, neighbor, friend, co-worker, cashier, banker, mechanic, doctor, a former high school classmate, or someone we have been avoiding because of past hurts, I wonder how many lonely people would no longer be lonely if everyone took the time to do this each day?

Hi, Friend! Thanks for joining me for a few minutes. How many more friends can we bless this week?