Embracing Chaos

Are you well-acquainted with chaos? Most people are, especially now, as our world deals with the coronavirus and accompanying “social distancing” and stay-at-home orders. Active bodies create excitement and commotion and demand attention. Unexpected changes or dilemmas require quick thinking and creative problem-solving skills. Noise and distractions are commonplace. Chaos can be aggravating, or even frightening. But I think it also provides a valuable service!
 
In the past, I’ve seen a quote, "Chaos pushes us to come to new solutions for old problems." Have you experienced this? Often, it's when we're overwhelmed by activity and frustration, or unexpected changes to our routines, that we vow to try something new to lessen the stress and confusion. Many of us are experiencing this as we figure out how to connect with loved ones, how to do schooling online, and how to get along and share space with family members for longer periods of time than usual. This is when our creativity is pushed to new heights! This is directly related to the old adage, "Necessity is the mother of invention!"
 
A second related quote is this, "Chaos in our lives teaches us how flexible we can be." There's little need for flexibility when schedules are running smoothly, projects are competed in a timely manner, and plans proceed without interruption. Yet this type of "utopia" rarely exists in our lives today, especially when life changes on a daily basis, it is difficult to purchase basic necessities like toilet paper, and many people are out of jobs, wondering how to pay the bills, and having to wear masks when they go out in public.
 
Most parents of young children can testify to the presence of chaos as soon as they make or receive a phone call and attempt (but frequently fail) to hold an intelligent, coherent conversation with another person. Often chaos reigns at those times, as well as first thing in the morning when everyone is trying to get to their daily obligations (work, school, appointments), and at the end of the day, when supper is being prepared, homework needs to be done, and kids and parents are tired and testy. Chaos may be apparent during transitions, when families attempt to go on outings, or during stressful times such as illness, the addition (or loss) of a family member, or ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­the learning of a new skill such as toilet-training or riding a bike. Chaos may also be a factor in the classroom or workplace with a change in schedule (or personnel), a fire drill or other loud noise, a field trip or other outing, or a change in expectations.
 
When chaos appears to be solidly in control of our lives, it's sometimes difficult to remember that we have choices! When I give a presentation on my Social Response Pyramid™, I like to use the quote, "Sometimes we're too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet!" In other words, we can get so busy reacting to chaos in our environment that we forget to determine and address the source of the problem!
 
Perhaps the best way to do this is to take a step back (literally and/or figuratively), and examine the following:
1. What is happening, and why? (What do I know or think, and how do I feel? What do others know, think, or feel?)
2. What is my goal? (Where am I headed? What would I like to achieve?)
3. What strategies do I have to achieve my goal (or what more do I need to know or learn to get there?)
4. Choose a strategy that's most likely to bring success, and give it a try.
5. Go back and assess the outcome--did I achieve what I hoped to achieve? What was the effect on me and on others around me? I may need to restart this process and try a new strategy in order to be successful!
 
This is essentially how the Social Response Pyramid(TM) works. The basic premise of this tool is that through creative brainstorming and a commitment to trying something new or different, a person can move at least one step beyond where he or she is currently "stuck."
 
Here's one more quote about chaos: "Chaos in the world brings uneasiness, but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth” (Tom Barrett).
 
Wishing all of you the opportunity to grow and learn from the chaos in your lives, not only surviving, but thriving!