Dealing with Loss

Last week I wrote about the “tests” that help us grow. Often it’s the difficult things in life, as unwelcome as they may be, that promote the most growth in each of us. However, that can be difficult to see when we’re in the middle of the test.

This past week my community has been impacted by the loss of three significant people; a beautiful, vivacious 15-year-old who has been valiantly battling cancer for over a year, a new grandpa who has been in a coma for several months since a devastating accident, and a star athlete who died in his sleep overnight. One friend of mine has been hospitalized for the last week, and another has been diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer and is facing difficult treatments. I recently met with a new client who experienced a very difficult test in the past year which has led to high anxiety, and a loss of a sense of security and confidence. She is a beautiful young lady, who is obviously still enduring the aftermath of the test with a variety of emotions. I was told that she has been “working her way through it…but still has a long ways to go.”

It’s hard to imagine the magnitude of the loss involved for the individuals or families impacted by each of these tests; loss of normalcy, loss of control, loss of good health, loss of life, loss of dreams for the future, loss of someone or something very dear to them. For all of them, life will never be the same. Each of them has been forever changed.

I’ve been thinking about the particular test of “loss” a lot this past week. I think it’s incorrect to think that anyone should “move beyond” such a loss, or as some people might say, “just deal with it,” or even, “get over it.”

I believe a significant loss (or perhaps any test, big or small), becomes an irrevocable part of our CONTEXT (see The Social Response Pyramid™), or who we are as a person. It doesn’t go away, but it stays with us for the rest of our lives.

Growth comes from what we learn about ourselves and others, how we assimilate that test or loss into the fiber of our beings, and ultimately, how we choose to respond to it. In each of the examples above, I have seen people choose to keep going…choose to give thanks for life, health, doctors, the support of friends and family…choose to keep hoping and believing…even choose to give back to their community in spite of their own significant loss. Each has a beautiful testimony, even though the loss is fresh and the pain is still very raw.

What test are you facing, or have you faced in the past? What are you learning or have you learned as a result of that? We hope you’ll share your “testimony” on our quick survey. (All responses will remain anonymous unless you choose to include your name). You may choose to be entered in our next PRIZE drawing at the same time!

Here’s an additional insight to ponder this week:

“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it's the ability to deal with them.” (Steve Maraboli)

We wish you well as you face a variety of tests in life, knowing they can help you continue to grow personally and interpersonally!