Certain Change

I recently had a young adult say to me, “Many people with autism do not like change. I have autism. I don’t like change!”
 
I can certainly relate to his comment, as can many of you. Having worked with people with autism for 24 years, I know that even the word “change” can instill significant anxiety in them, along with the chaos and unpredictability of changed schedules, relationships, circumstances, expectations, etc. Yet, I do not believe that apprehension or resistance to change is unique to people with autism. Many of us tend to be creatures of habit, more comfortable with routine and consistency, or “same,” than with “different.”
 
There is a famous quote, attributed to Benjamin Franklin, which says, “In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.” As I reflect on the concept of “change,” I believe it should be included in the list of things that are certain in this life. Most of us are aware of the possibility of death each day, but we do not experience it first-hand it until the end of our life (although we may experience death and its repercussions as loved ones pass away). And most people are not very aware of the concept of taxes until they reach 18 years of age.
 
Yet change is something we all experience on a daily basis from the moment we come into existence. Each person’s birth involves significant change from a warm, nurturing, dark environment, into the cold, sterile, bright birthing space, away from the constant heartbeat of our mother. From that moment on, we continue to experience a variety of changes as we grow and learn, experiencing both joys and sorrows, and successes and failures along the way.
 
I don’t write Social Incites™ articles every Monday like I did for many years. In fact, it has been almost six months since I last connected with each of you. Yet I think about you often! I am certain that you have experienced changes since I last wrote. You may have experienced changing seasons, improvement or deterioration in physical health or financial situation, changes in your children’s behaviors or abilities or circumstances, changes in relationships, changes in living situations, and even changes in how you view the world. Maybe, like me, you have made difficult decisions to end an abusive marriage. Maybe you have lost loved ones through death, a move, or miscommunications or other hurtful circumstances. Maybe you have moved, changed jobs, or taken on a new hobby. Maybe you have new children, new grandchildren, or a new spouse. Maybe you have taken on the responsibility of caring for someone who needs significant support or attention.
 
For all of us, change is likely as certain as death and taxes. Although some change is planned and maybe even eagerly anticipated, often, change is unexpected or dreaded.
 
Most often, we cannot control our circumstances, or whether or not we have to deal with change. But we do not have to be controlled by our circumstances or changes that are outside our control.
 
Stephen Hawking has said, “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” Mahatma Gahdhi said, “We must be the change we wish to see in the world.” We can make daily choices to change ourselves in positive ways. We can choose joy, choose relationships over being right or getting our own way, choose to love and serve others, choose to overlook offenses, choose to assume the best in others. We can choose to communicate, save money, and use our time wisely. We can choose to work hard and to clean up after ourselves. We can choose to control our emotions, tell the truth, use good manners, and treat others with respect.
 
We may not like change, choose change, or be comfortable with change. But change is inevitable, and choosing to respond to change positively, even when it is unexpected or undesired, can make a significant difference in how we feel about—and respond to-- ourselves, other people, and our circumstances. These daily choices make it easier to navigate each change successfully as it comes.
 
OTHER INSIGHTSt…
Although change is inevitable, I am so thankful that there is one thing that never changes. I could never navigate change successfully—especially traumatic, painful change—without the constant love and presence of my never-changing God and Father. James 1:17 says,…Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

With HIS help, I can make the difficult choices that need to be made as I interact with the changing world, people, and circumstances that affect me.

• “…Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes” (Ephesians 4:23)
• “Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (Romans 12:2)

I hope you have this same assurance! Please feel free to email me if you would like to know more, to share some of God’s story in your life, or to share prayer requests.